Written by Melody Thacker, Independent Watkins Associate on November 22, 2010
Ideally a marriage is a partnership in every sense of the word. A husband and wife should work together to keep a household running smoothly. However, who should do what is often a big source of conflict in most households.
Women usually get the job of taking care of the kids and keeping the house clean while their husbands work. But unlike several decades ago, wives and mothers usually have to hold down a job as well, in order for a family to make ends meet financially. It can be very difficult and stressful to juggle all of these things ourselves. Getting your husband to help around the house can make our jobs easier and less stressful.
- If you need help with something specific, ask. Most husbands are willing to do specific tasks when we have our hands full and they don’t. If possible, ask him to do something that he enjoys, or at least doesn’t openly hate to do.
- Offer to help him with his projects. If you are willing to help him clean his car or do the yard work, he will surely appreciate it. Then he might be more likely to offer to help you out when you are working around the house.
- Find tasks that you can do together or alongside each other. This will allow the two of you to spend time together while also getting something done. And the pleasure of your company might make an undesirable chore more palatable.
- If you prefer a more structured approach, assign specific chores to everyone in the house. You could make a chart that tells which chores everyone is to be in charge of. Consulting with your husband when doing this is crucial. If he is included in the decision making process, he will be more willing to follow along.
- Talk about how your day went. Husbands often don’t realize how much their wives do in one day, and this can lead them to believe that we should accomplish more than we do. Filling them in on all of the things we have to contend with could evoke some sympathy, possibly even inspiring them to volunteer their assistance.
- Give lots of praise when your husband does help around the house for positive reinforcement. Nitpicking about the things he did wrong will only make him less willing to help. While it’s acceptable to offer some constructive criticism, it is essential to find something positive to say as well.
- Reward your husband for pitching in, we’ll leave it up to you to determine an appropriate reward. I’m sure you can come up with something good!
Getting your husband to help around the house may be effortless, or it may require a lot of coaxing. By letting him know how hard you work to trying to get everything done and asking him to do specific things rather than expecting him to know what to do on his own, you can often get some willing assistance. And the end result will be a neater, cleaner home and a happier you.